Saturday, January 26, 2002

ugh. I'm a lizard in the sunlight
dreaming about crack cocane and mescalin
robe hanging off my shoulder
tying knots in my brain with video games
playing chopsticks on the player piano
we're fermented and moldy
green fuzz on my skin--alchohol content 98%
out to lunch
burp

Friday, January 25, 2002

well, I haven't had a googlewhacking post yet, mostly because I haven't had anything really exciting to post. Now a friend of mine here at work has got 166,110,000,000 points, with the two words
u n u n h e x i u m  &  j o n e s.

Hehe.

It doesn't beat out some of the best scores over at JOHO, but it's still pretty damn good.

My personal best was
p u s s y  &  t h y r o t r o p i n
with 29,440,000,000.

It's fun as hell, and I'm not getting any work done today. :P
I just found out a good friend lost his job. I keep saying I want another job. At one point I would have been happy to be fired. Now I'm not so sure. It sucks out there! I'm sure he'll find something.

I was thinking--on the walk from my bus to work this morning--about how boring my life is... then I thought about it some more and realized that it really shouldn't feel boring. I mean, there are so many things I do. I'm a FRIGGIN EXCITEMENT MACHINE!!!

I mean, for pete's sake, I've got a girlfriend who doesn't mind if I look for other girlfriends. I juggle two, sometimes three, times a week, I watch far too many movies, read incredibly good books, play amazing video games... I live a life of fucking leisure!

Laura says I write my blog like I'm lonely. I'm not sure why. Maybe she just means I don't mention her enough. If any attractive females between 21 and 29 are reading this, we're looking for potential 3-somes...

Here's a great quote from despair.com: "Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people."

UPDATE: If your screen name is Yami, and I already know you, it doesn't matter how old you are, get your butt to Minneapolis, and I can guarantee at least one night of hot steamy sex, quite possibly much, much more.

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

I just had this incredible eye-moment with a sexy-red-lipstick-wearing-girl on the bus.

I was standing in front of her about to get off the bus. She looked at me, I looked at her. We locked eyes. She licked her lips like she was going to say something. I bit my lip. The drunk in front of me stumbled getting off the bus. I grinned at her, she grinned at me. I got off the bus. I turned around, and she was still looking at me out the window of the bus. I made sure she knew I was looking at her, then I turned and walked up the street toward my appartment.

I suppose at this point I thought I was waiting for her to make some move--get off the bus behind me or something. I fantasized about the evening we'd have, getting to know one another... drinking heavily, smearing her gorgeous red lipstick.

Of course I'd already blown it. The moment was gone.

As I walked into my appartment, I fantasized about taking my flatmate's car and chasing down the bus to ask her out. Then I laughed at myself.

This kind of thing happens frequently enough that I'm always thinking about it... On the bus in the morning I'll fantasize about moments like this with every girl my momentary glance around the bus deems worthy of fantasizing about. In fact, as I got on the bus today, I began to fantasize about this kind of thing happening with this very girl, and I stopped myself, read my book instead. I never do anything when stuff like this happens. I'm totally and completely incapable of actually saying anything to a stranger.

I should have asked her out for a drink. I should have said "Hello," or "Goodnight," or "Hi, what's your name?" or ANYTHING. I'm a moron.

Not that I'm saying I really need to meet someone or anything. I'm just a moron.
Crazy factor #3: I like to bite butts. I don't know why. I really like sinking my teeth into a good ass. It's one of life's little pleasures.
Tonight I had a little adventure. I've decided I'm going to do more filming. Juggling movies are the way to go... I made that one of my brother Dan, and I've taken lots of other footage, but haven't put anything together since then. (There have been a few false starts, but nothing finished, yet.)

Anyway, I came up with this idea to walk around downtown juggling for something like 30 min, then speed the video up so it's like 4 or 5 minutes of fast-forward juggling. Easy, right? Well, I convinced Nate to do the filming, and we even looked up the exact time of sunset, so we'd hit it right in the middle. The plan was to film until the digital camera's battery gave out, which is normally something like 30 min. Anyway, just as we were starting, I realized that I was still wearing a coat, and not only is it hard to juggle in a coat, but I knew I was going to get hot. We were something like20 feet from Nate's car... and I wanted to go back and put it in there, but he said "no, I'll carry it." and off we went.

It went great. After the camera gave out (at 45 minutes!) I was super exhausted, and we'd had a lot of fun. Nate handed me my coat, and I checked my pockets. No wallet. Shit.

So we retraced our steps, squinting into every dark little puddle and snowbank looking for the damn thing. No dice. another 45 minutes later, I walked back into work (we did the whole thing downtown) to check my messages and grab my backpack before leaving. There were like 3 messages on my work phone, and as I was checking them, Nate checked the answering machine at home. Some lady had already found my wallet!

So we ran over there, and this lady (who seemed like she probably thought I was a moron for loosing it in the first place) handed over the thing without saying 3 words. She maybe said "you're welcome." maybe.

So that was my evening. I left the batery charger at work--I'd been in such a hurry to get my wallet back--so no video editing tonight. I'll do it tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

I'm going to write an autobiography titled All this Work for Nothing: the story of my life. Or perhaps, All this Work for Nothing: A Martin Grider case study.

(Oh oh, now I've done it. I've posted my name. No end of troubles now!)

Anyway, I think all this work for nothing is a catchy title. I'd like to repeat it a few more times--All this Work for Nothing. Or perhaps, All This Work For Nothing. Which capitalization scheme? You see the perplexing decisions I'm faced with each and every day! All this work... for nothing.
So much of what we do can be, (and is!) interpreted as "crazy" by other individuals. Exhibit A: How many times a year/month/week do you hear this phrase: "It would have worked out, except for the fact that... he/she was CRAZY."

I realize that this probably applies to myself even more so than other individuals. Perhaps I am crazy. I will begin a trend here of posting things about me that are often percieved as crazy by other people.

Crazy factor 1: I will not enter a monogamous relationship.

I feel that monogamy is yet another social convention accepted by the masses out of sheer convenience. We are not monogamous animals. There are actually human sperm that have evolved for the sole purpose of attacking other human sperm! That proves that biologically we are not monogamous.

I have relented a bit in my stance that nobody is meant to be monogamous. I have had convincing conversations with a suficient numbers of people over the years who feel that they are soley monogamous creatures, and could not bear for themselves the idea of attraction to more than one individual. This is simmilar to my former opinion that everyone is merely shades of bisexual. I realize now that there are individuals so far off the "scale" that there is nothing left to do but call them fully homosexual or heterosexual.

Maybe someday soon I'll post about crazy factor #2: I cannot abide the word "faith", and I have a strong disapproval of religious institutions of all kinds.

Monday, January 21, 2002

well, here I am, back at work. The entire day, pretty much wasted trying to get a simple page to layout correctly with CSS positioning. I don't know what the deal is, because I basically cut and paste from a page that looks the same in IE5.5 and mozilla, but mine doesn't. Frustrating as hell.

Not that it's work related.

I really want to start a business of some kind. Or maybe just do more stuff that's not work and video games. I'm not sure. But I really feel like I could find some other way to make a living. I know so many people who just juggle, or sell juggling stuff, or perform.

Bleh. I really just want to sit at home and never deal with people ever again.