UPDATE:I'm not using MT anymore. It's all about wordpress, baby. No more redirect in this theme either. You'll have to click the link below.


I've done it. I've moved to Movable type.

My new blog is over at livingtech.net. You'll be redirected there in about a minute.

Sayonara blogger. You were good to me... sometimes.


UPDATE: I've dissabled comments from here... go to the new site to leave comments. :)

"The life of every man is a diary, in which he means to write one story, and writes another."
--Bess Streeter Aldrich (Cheers For Miss Bishop (movie based on the novel Miss Bishop))

This quote reminded me of Tiny's dreams and rainbows post, which I always wanted to respond to, but never did because I felt I'd just be another person saying "me too".

Well, now I wouldn't say "me too", I'd post that quote, proving that Tiny is actually the one saying "me too", only he's said it longer and better. And really, this quote (from a movie, based on a book!) probably isn't even the first time anyone has said something like this. people say things like this all the time, and it's like there's this giant "me too" chorus of people, around the world, holding hands, singing it, screaming it, living it, yes living "ME TOO!!!" from the tops of mountains that aren't high enough and at the bottoms of oceans that are really just small lakes and ponds... ponds that dry up, evaporate into cloud layers (like the one outside--clouds with imperceptible silver linings) and then rain down, in the midst of thunder and lightening, rain down on the rooftops of sleeping dreamers, and rain down occasionally in the sunlight forming rainbows out of the wrong story.

but the wrong story is the one you're living, and you better read it, baby. you'd better read it.

This past weekend will live in my puny brain as memorable for many reasons. I am not going to go into those reasons, other than to say that there was some nudity involved, a hot tub, and much drunken kissing.

Today is one of those hot and windy fall days. The kind that screams that fall is fast approaching, but does not (yet) blow leaves across the streets and sidewalks.

I just want to sit on a concrete slab downtown, and people watch.
I feel diffuse and exuberant.
Tonight we are juggling fire.

My eyelid is swoolen. I think I might have some kind of strep. I'm going to the doctor this afternoon.

The movable type conversion isn't happening as fast or easy as I'd like. Maybe after I get back from the doctor I'll work on it some more. On the other hand, I have a character here that is almost to level 10!

I'm trying to import into mt.

Just had a 2 minute "team meeting" to announce the firing of a co-worker. (His last day was yesterday.) He's not dead, but I'll mourn his passing anyway. Nice start to this particuarly rainy and misserable day.

On the plus side, he "willed" me his java books and Pessimism poster!

He's in a better place, believe me.

While I'm talking about juggling, let me say that it's a mixed bag. Like anything you do, you're good at it sometimes, and other times you just suck.

Tonight I was ok. Sunday, I was terrible.

Sunday afternoon, I went to see cirque again. 2 for 1 tickets courtesy of dan, who worked as an usher. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Made me want to do something, anything, for cirque du soleil. I would run lights, sound, backstage makeup, clean the theater, or be a fucking usher... just made me want to be a part of it.

But then we bustled out to fest right after, brought along my friend Kristin to watch me play volley club. I sucked. No, to say I sucked is an understatement. To do badly, you have to at least DO. I just didn't. I basically just stood there and dropped the club whenever it came to me.

It's like a performance, volley club. And I choked, big time.

Anyway, tonight was practice. Monday nights at the neverthriving.

I played some good combat, and flashed six balls a few more times. I don't really know why I care, but suddenly I really want to be able to do six balls. It's just that one tiny step more impressive than five, and all of a sudden--for the first time--it seems remotely possible... remotely.

So yeah, performance sucks. But I would give my left leg to be a part of cirque du soleil. Go figure.

I don't really like performing. I have to pipe up and quickly note that, while I unerstand what Buddah and MJ are saying (over on Meghan's blog,) generally for me the rush you get performing doesn't outweigh--in importance--the feeling of dread. (and yes, I'm too lazy to find the deep link...you may have to search through her archives if you're seeing this later than, say, next week.)

And then there is a second feeling of dread if I receive no feedback after the performance. With good feedback, I feel better--bad feedback, it's like a relief that at least I know I was right--I did suck! But no feedback, and I sit there the rest of the night, thinking... did I suck? Sometimes it's so bad I can't even think about the performers still up on stage. (we're talking open mics here... when I used to perform an actual act--yes, juggling--that was different, because I felt a sort of "Whew! Glad that's over!" after every show.)

I agree with the sentiment that the "true artist" is never satisfied with their work. And given the chance, a good poet would keep revising their work forever. (Lets not get into the beat movement, or my favorite poet, Frank O'Hara.) Point is, taking the stage to read something (or sing something) that you've written is like saying "this is done"--or at least done enough to perform. It's a bit like publishing something, I guess. Stage publishing.

When do you let go? when is something "done enough" to perform, or whatever... I don't know...

This isn't even making sense to me. I'm going to go play unicycle hockey now. Yes really, unicycle hockey.

Last night I went to see Alegría. I can't possibly express with words the beauty and magical nature of cirque shows, and this was no exception. I feel like reality is this dull grey blanket now.

Speaking of dull grey blankets, there is one in the sky outside my window, casting a heavy pal over the Rainbow foods parking lot. What a view.

ugh, today and yesterday have been extremely frustrating for me. I have a project due on wed that I have not been able to move on. I don't know why. It's not even a dificult project. I just don't want to do it for some reason. I find myself procrastinating on all kinds of fronts (reinstalling office for OSX, for instance, or reading FAR too long transcripts of conversations with the IRS on this site). Even worse, I'm suppose to have some poems printed up tonight for our chapbook meeting, and that's all I really want to do... work on poetry.

Here's one I found in my laptop last night:

=====

untitled -- 4.8.2

In a world full of Big Macs, and Big Macs with cheese,
I sometimes feel like a lowly cheeseburger,
shoved ungratefully into a happymeal.

And eventfully, the afternoon graduates into night,
throwing its hat into the air; and it plummets
over the edge of the earth.

singing a brief anthem to wordsex

sylables as actions
words asphyxiate on paragraphs
pharagraphs smother in novels
seeing the vowel-forest for the trees

syntax is reflex
semantics, the poetry-killer
drown linguistically, drown

OK, right now there are strange construction worker men on my floor, creating a new kitchen-type-area RIGHT behind my cubicle.

This is normal, they've been at this for a week. There is a nice new curved wall where none used to be. The buildout may be nice even. Not as nice as the stuff the first floor folks got, but nice.

But for the love of god AND ALL THAT IS HOLY... they were not DRILLING INTO SHEETROCK until only JUST TODAY!!~!!!~!~!!!!!

If you can't imagine the sound of drilling sheetrock, think of the dentist's chair. Then amplify the sound, if you can, but move it out of your mouth, to an area near to (but no longer inside of) your head.

I want to KILL. I will be going home early now. Yes I will.

PS, I do not love god, or holy things. In fact, I often despise them. Amen.

So... Meghan, Ryan and I are going to put out a chapbook of poetry. We're in the "brainstorming titles" stage, but almost as important we're also in the "brainstorming supergroup names" stage. (For publicity's sake, we have to be able to say: "yeah, I'm with this group of poets called <insert supergroup name here> and we just put out a book of our poems. Maybe you should pick up a copy.")

Anyway, meghan forgot to mention (intentionally left out?) our possible superhero-group titles: (conceived by me and inspired when Ryan called us collectively a "supergroup")

• The obvious one: SuperPoets
• my favorite: The Poetastic Four
• the X-Poets
• Poets-who-leap-tall-buildings
• Poet-avengers
• poet-league
• mutant-poets
• the uncanny poets
• Power-Puff Poets (I like this one too)

So... if you have any poetic chapbook title ideas, post them over at meghan's blog... but if you have any supergroup name concepts, post them here!

Mopsa has already suggested CHAPsmear as a chapbook title. This is, of course, a pun, AND inordinately disgusting, therefore it would normally go at the top of my list, but since I don't think I want the word "chap" in the title no matter what the circumstances, all of her suggestions are probably right out the window.

(Incidentally, Kohout apparently thought we were making a "chatbox", and suggested all kinds of titles in that vein. Has anyone ever read the book Chat? It's about two people who meet and date online... it was perhaps the first of it's kind ever in print.)

I feel obligated to say I wish we knew exactly what happened last year on this date. The events are fairly clear, but who knew what is still, apparently, a mystery (or at the very least, a non-issue).

Has pouring more money into our defense budget done us any good in the last year? How is it possible that we have not yet captured Bin Laden? Why hasn't Bush been forced to resign?

These are questions that I try not to think about. These are questions that make me want to move to Canada. I never watched the movie "The Seige", (and heard it wasn't that great) but for some reason I'm struck suddenly wanting to watch it.

If anything, this site may curb my ebay addiction.

I can't believe I didn't post a single poem in august. Here's one to commiserate:

======
i AM yelling.


you can't see me
flailing emotive words
floundering in political spittle
perturbed by right-wing flies on MY wall

because I'm pretending Twain was right
I'll appear less ignorant in silence

you know I avoid confrontation?
I'm an independent-opinion-armada,
rusting in a placid bay of political-agoraphobia.

but i AM yelling
a megaphone in a soundproof balloon
and some-particularly-frustrating-day...
pop!

My favorite DVD extra has to be the remake of the song 'Camelot', from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I had no idea who was responsible for this brilliant parody until just now, when I found a link to Spite in your Face Production's parody of 2001, titled One: A Space Odyssey.

It does the whole film in one minute... brilliant!

http://www.lukeburrage.co.uk/
I wonder how many other google parody sites there are out there...

my weekend was the end of a week. I helped my good friend Kris move into his new place, and went out to fest on Sun. Work is a slow zombie today. I'm dropping limbs and drool, and bleeding half-coagulated blood from various drying wounds.

tonight seems as good a time as any to sit and try to think of something to say. The last day or so I've felt acutely aware of how menial my blog has been lately. I talk of nothing but trivial moments and events, the very blogstuff I abhor when I'm reading someone else's blog for the first time. Is it wrong though, for me to never want to read what I am actually producing? What does that say about the two or three people who follow this thing regularly?

I used to say, I have nothing to say, and I am saying it, that is poetry. (or someone else used to say it, and I stole it, no doubt.) Now, I have nothing to say, and I am saying it, that is... I blog it.

Here I am, laying in bed, updating from the laptop. We got our linksys yesterday, and it's amazing. Absolutely no setup required. I did, of course, change some things, like admin passwords, and network name, but it worked as soon as I plugged it in. Also notable--signal strength is at full no matter where I am in the house. I'm not sure if the signal strength indicator just doesn't work without apple's airport, or if it really is this strong... I will have to walk down the block whith my laptop sometime and see how far I can go.

I am very close to having movable type all configured on livingtech.net, so expect a redirect in the next couple of days. (the blog is all set up, but I haven't imported anything yet, and my templates need work before I switch too.)