oh yeah, remember that raise I was getting? not anymore. I'm getting a fraction of it. (It's still a raise, though any enthusiasm I'd felt for it is now obliterated by the fact that I'm not getting nearly as much.)

yeah, I'm cranky.

every year before christmas, I think to myself, I'll buy some christmas lights for my room as soon as christmas is over, because they're always on sale then!, and every year, when christmas is over, I'm sick of christmas lights.

morning is obnoxious.

blogger has been down and up and hacked and back... I changed my pw, even though I use blogspot. It's interesting to note which sites think something happening to blogger is newsworthy. (ok, I could only find one, and admitedly, it was before I made this post!)

I just discovered blogdex. It's fascinating. Many of the currently "most popular" are things I've seen before, but some not. A simmilar discoverty to The Internet Archive, which has a cheezy name for their coolest feature (The WayBackMachine) which allows you to view webpages as they once were... There is so much there to digest! (but I've found it's often busy.)

This is something I've noticed lately. It used to be that there was always too much science fiction to read. Far too much to get through. Now I still feel that way, (I can think of three or four books scratching holes in the back of my brain--where the 'unread list' hides) but there is a new list too, a "to read/view online" list, and it's been growing steadily as I blog more often. Partly, this list was always there... I mean, there are a hundred thousand script sites, and tutorials that I want to get to, and I have a list of regular news sources that I get too far less regularly than I'd like... but the list has grown... or rather, there are new subsets or something. the "from blogging" category is threatening to take over. I've started to read blogs before bedtime. (a period normally notable for my lack of coherance as I stumble from the livingroom couch to my bed, fumbling at the power button on my PS2 in between.)

Maybe I've just been hungry for a new passion and I'm hoping this will satiate some of that desire. I don't know. I do know I haven't been writing as much, and Laura blames my recent gaming adiction on the fact that work has been stressful. I think she's partly right, but partly I've been bored. I need passion! I need something to get fired up about. Blogging has nothing to do with it, but maybe reading blogs does... maybe not. But maybe, just maybe, blogging will get me interested in the internet again. There was this article on slashdot linking a relatively dumb apnews story about the commericalization of the internet, and just how much of it is owned by corperations, (and fewer corporations than in past years). Strangely, this article just made me thankful for the server space I have, knowing that even though hardly anyone reads it, it's still there... that's the difference between the internet and, say... TV... when corporations took over TV, they pushed out the little guys. with the internet, (sure some toes get squashed) but for the most part the little guys can still be there! The actual article does cite some pretty large toe-squashings though.

how do you find time to blog? I never seem to. I have to snatch it from the edges of my day, fitting it in the cracks unevenly, like poorly matched puzzle pieces.

do you listen to the songs stuck in your head? Hum along? Or do you try and get rid of them, as I do. Sometimes listening to them works, sometimes you have to listen to another annoying song.

I was going to write some stupid little blurb about introspection, and how often I feel like I'm just staring off into space at parties, wondering what I look like to other people, but I decided that's stupid. (not the staring off into space, or even the wondering what other people think of me, but the little blurb about introspection.) Except now that I've mentioned it, the blurb is probably over, and I've done it, stupid or not.

I could spout on about Final Fantasy X. That's what's kept me from sleep all night. It's actualy going to be nine thirty in the AM any minute now, and I haven't slept since about 11:00AM yesterday. Well, I did nod off for about an hour durring this one particularly puzzling part in a temple where I was suppose to move these stones around and open the door... (but the camera angle didn't make it obvious there was a whole staircase I could use... and I didn't figure it out until I made a trip to gamefaqs, and read ahead a bit in one of their walkthroughs.

Dynasty Warriors 3 had almost taken Grand Theft Auto 3's place as my current favorite game. But I have to admit FFX is amazing from an aesthetic standpoint. It's simply beautiful.

I have only one christmas present left to purchase for my family gifts to be complete. I should also try and get something for Laura before tuesday, and if I were really on the ball, I'd have something for a couple of other friends as well. I was thinking about getting her a palm pilot (she has mentioned interest in that area), but that's what I got for my girlfriend last year at christmas, and I think there's something about that situation that's just wrong...