ugh. I'm a lizard in the sunlight
dreaming about crack cocane and mescalin
robe hanging off my shoulder
tying knots in my brain with video games
playing chopsticks on the player piano
we're fermented and moldy
green fuzz on my skin--alchohol content 98%
out to lunch
burp
Friday, January 25, 2002
well, I haven't had a googlewhacking post yet, mostly because I haven't had anything really exciting to post. Now a friend of mine here at work has got 166,110,000,000 points, with the two words
u n u n h e x i u m & j o n e s.
Hehe.
It doesn't beat out some of the best scores over at JOHO, but it's still pretty damn good.
My personal best was
p u s s y & t h y r o t r o p i n
with 29,440,000,000.
It's fun as hell, and I'm not getting any work done today. :P
u n u n h e x i u m & j o n e s.
Hehe.
It doesn't beat out some of the best scores over at JOHO, but it's still pretty damn good.
My personal best was
p u s s y & t h y r o t r o p i n
with 29,440,000,000.
It's fun as hell, and I'm not getting any work done today. :P
I just found out a good friend lost his job. I keep saying I want another job. At one point I would have been happy to be fired. Now I'm not so sure. It sucks out there! I'm sure he'll find something.
I was thinking--on the walk from my bus to work this morning--about how boring my life is... then I thought about it some more and realized that it really shouldn't feel boring. I mean, there are so many things I do. I'm a FRIGGIN EXCITEMENT MACHINE!!!
I mean, for pete's sake, I've got a girlfriend who doesn't mind if I look for other girlfriends. I juggle two, sometimes three, times a week, I watch far too many movies, read incredibly good books, play amazing video games... I live a life of fucking leisure!
Laura says I write my blog like I'm lonely. I'm not sure why. Maybe she just means I don't mention her enough. If any attractive females between 21 and 29 are reading this, we're looking for potential 3-somes...
Here's a great quote from despair.com: "Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people."
UPDATE: If your screen name is Yami, and I already know you, it doesn't matter how old you are, get your butt to Minneapolis, and I can guarantee at least one night of hot steamy sex, quite possibly much, much more.
I was thinking--on the walk from my bus to work this morning--about how boring my life is... then I thought about it some more and realized that it really shouldn't feel boring. I mean, there are so many things I do. I'm a FRIGGIN EXCITEMENT MACHINE!!!
I mean, for pete's sake, I've got a girlfriend who doesn't mind if I look for other girlfriends. I juggle two, sometimes three, times a week, I watch far too many movies, read incredibly good books, play amazing video games... I live a life of fucking leisure!
Laura says I write my blog like I'm lonely. I'm not sure why. Maybe she just means I don't mention her enough. If any attractive females between 21 and 29 are reading this, we're looking for potential 3-somes...
Here's a great quote from despair.com: "Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people."
UPDATE: If your screen name is Yami, and I already know you, it doesn't matter how old you are, get your butt to Minneapolis, and I can guarantee at least one night of hot steamy sex, quite possibly much, much more.
Wednesday, January 23, 2002
I just had this incredible eye-moment with a sexy-red-lipstick-wearing-girl on the bus.
I was standing in front of her about to get off the bus. She looked at me, I looked at her. We locked eyes. She licked her lips like she was going to say something. I bit my lip. The drunk in front of me stumbled getting off the bus. I grinned at her, she grinned at me. I got off the bus. I turned around, and she was still looking at me out the window of the bus. I made sure she knew I was looking at her, then I turned and walked up the street toward my appartment.
I suppose at this point I thought I was waiting for her to make some move--get off the bus behind me or something. I fantasized about the evening we'd have, getting to know one another... drinking heavily, smearing her gorgeous red lipstick.
Of course I'd already blown it. The moment was gone.
As I walked into my appartment, I fantasized about taking my flatmate's car and chasing down the bus to ask her out. Then I laughed at myself.
This kind of thing happens frequently enough that I'm always thinking about it... On the bus in the morning I'll fantasize about moments like this with every girl my momentary glance around the bus deems worthy of fantasizing about. In fact, as I got on the bus today, I began to fantasize about this kind of thing happening with this very girl, and I stopped myself, read my book instead. I never do anything when stuff like this happens. I'm totally and completely incapable of actually saying anything to a stranger.
I should have asked her out for a drink. I should have said "Hello," or "Goodnight," or "Hi, what's your name?" or ANYTHING. I'm a moron.
Not that I'm saying I really need to meet someone or anything. I'm just a moron.
I was standing in front of her about to get off the bus. She looked at me, I looked at her. We locked eyes. She licked her lips like she was going to say something. I bit my lip. The drunk in front of me stumbled getting off the bus. I grinned at her, she grinned at me. I got off the bus. I turned around, and she was still looking at me out the window of the bus. I made sure she knew I was looking at her, then I turned and walked up the street toward my appartment.
I suppose at this point I thought I was waiting for her to make some move--get off the bus behind me or something. I fantasized about the evening we'd have, getting to know one another... drinking heavily, smearing her gorgeous red lipstick.
Of course I'd already blown it. The moment was gone.
As I walked into my appartment, I fantasized about taking my flatmate's car and chasing down the bus to ask her out. Then I laughed at myself.
This kind of thing happens frequently enough that I'm always thinking about it... On the bus in the morning I'll fantasize about moments like this with every girl my momentary glance around the bus deems worthy of fantasizing about. In fact, as I got on the bus today, I began to fantasize about this kind of thing happening with this very girl, and I stopped myself, read my book instead. I never do anything when stuff like this happens. I'm totally and completely incapable of actually saying anything to a stranger.
I should have asked her out for a drink. I should have said "Hello," or "Goodnight," or "Hi, what's your name?" or ANYTHING. I'm a moron.
Not that I'm saying I really need to meet someone or anything. I'm just a moron.
Tonight I had a little adventure. I've decided I'm going to do more filming. Juggling movies are the way to go... I made that one of my brother Dan, and I've taken lots of other footage, but haven't put anything together since then. (There have been a few false starts, but nothing finished, yet.)
Anyway, I came up with this idea to walk around downtown juggling for something like 30 min, then speed the video up so it's like 4 or 5 minutes of fast-forward juggling. Easy, right? Well, I convinced Nate to do the filming, and we even looked up the exact time of sunset, so we'd hit it right in the middle. The plan was to film until the digital camera's battery gave out, which is normally something like 30 min. Anyway, just as we were starting, I realized that I was still wearing a coat, and not only is it hard to juggle in a coat, but I knew I was going to get hot. We were something like20 feet from Nate's car... and I wanted to go back and put it in there, but he said "no, I'll carry it." and off we went.
It went great. After the camera gave out (at 45 minutes!) I was super exhausted, and we'd had a lot of fun. Nate handed me my coat, and I checked my pockets. No wallet. Shit.
So we retraced our steps, squinting into every dark little puddle and snowbank looking for the damn thing. No dice. another 45 minutes later, I walked back into work (we did the whole thing downtown) to check my messages and grab my backpack before leaving. There were like 3 messages on my work phone, and as I was checking them, Nate checked the answering machine at home. Some lady had already found my wallet!
So we ran over there, and this lady (who seemed like she probably thought I was a moron for loosing it in the first place) handed over the thing without saying 3 words. She maybe said "you're welcome." maybe.
So that was my evening. I left the batery charger at work--I'd been in such a hurry to get my wallet back--so no video editing tonight. I'll do it tomorrow.
Anyway, I came up with this idea to walk around downtown juggling for something like 30 min, then speed the video up so it's like 4 or 5 minutes of fast-forward juggling. Easy, right? Well, I convinced Nate to do the filming, and we even looked up the exact time of sunset, so we'd hit it right in the middle. The plan was to film until the digital camera's battery gave out, which is normally something like 30 min. Anyway, just as we were starting, I realized that I was still wearing a coat, and not only is it hard to juggle in a coat, but I knew I was going to get hot. We were something like20 feet from Nate's car... and I wanted to go back and put it in there, but he said "no, I'll carry it." and off we went.
It went great. After the camera gave out (at 45 minutes!) I was super exhausted, and we'd had a lot of fun. Nate handed me my coat, and I checked my pockets. No wallet. Shit.
So we retraced our steps, squinting into every dark little puddle and snowbank looking for the damn thing. No dice. another 45 minutes later, I walked back into work (we did the whole thing downtown) to check my messages and grab my backpack before leaving. There were like 3 messages on my work phone, and as I was checking them, Nate checked the answering machine at home. Some lady had already found my wallet!
So we ran over there, and this lady (who seemed like she probably thought I was a moron for loosing it in the first place) handed over the thing without saying 3 words. She maybe said "you're welcome." maybe.
So that was my evening. I left the batery charger at work--I'd been in such a hurry to get my wallet back--so no video editing tonight. I'll do it tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
I'm going to write an autobiography titled All this Work for Nothing: the story of my life. Or perhaps, All this Work for Nothing: A Martin Grider case study.
(Oh oh, now I've done it. I've posted my name. No end of troubles now!)
Anyway, I think all this work for nothing is a catchy title. I'd like to repeat it a few more times--All this Work for Nothing. Or perhaps, All This Work For Nothing. Which capitalization scheme? You see the perplexing decisions I'm faced with each and every day! All this work... for nothing.
(Oh oh, now I've done it. I've posted my name. No end of troubles now!)
Anyway, I think all this work for nothing is a catchy title. I'd like to repeat it a few more times--All this Work for Nothing. Or perhaps, All This Work For Nothing. Which capitalization scheme? You see the perplexing decisions I'm faced with each and every day! All this work... for nothing.
So much of what we do can be, (and is!) interpreted as "crazy" by other individuals. Exhibit A: How many times a year/month/week do you hear this phrase: "It would have worked out, except for the fact that... he/she was CRAZY."
I realize that this probably applies to myself even more so than other individuals. Perhaps I am crazy. I will begin a trend here of posting things about me that are often percieved as crazy by other people.
Crazy factor 1: I will not enter a monogamous relationship.
I feel that monogamy is yet another social convention accepted by the masses out of sheer convenience. We are not monogamous animals. There are actually human sperm that have evolved for the sole purpose of attacking other human sperm! That proves that biologically we are not monogamous.
I have relented a bit in my stance that nobody is meant to be monogamous. I have had convincing conversations with a suficient numbers of people over the years who feel that they are soley monogamous creatures, and could not bear for themselves the idea of attraction to more than one individual. This is simmilar to my former opinion that everyone is merely shades of bisexual. I realize now that there are individuals so far off the "scale" that there is nothing left to do but call them fully homosexual or heterosexual.
Maybe someday soon I'll post about crazy factor #2: I cannot abide the word "faith", and I have a strong disapproval of religious institutions of all kinds.
I realize that this probably applies to myself even more so than other individuals. Perhaps I am crazy. I will begin a trend here of posting things about me that are often percieved as crazy by other people.
Crazy factor 1: I will not enter a monogamous relationship.
I feel that monogamy is yet another social convention accepted by the masses out of sheer convenience. We are not monogamous animals. There are actually human sperm that have evolved for the sole purpose of attacking other human sperm! That proves that biologically we are not monogamous.
I have relented a bit in my stance that nobody is meant to be monogamous. I have had convincing conversations with a suficient numbers of people over the years who feel that they are soley monogamous creatures, and could not bear for themselves the idea of attraction to more than one individual. This is simmilar to my former opinion that everyone is merely shades of bisexual. I realize now that there are individuals so far off the "scale" that there is nothing left to do but call them fully homosexual or heterosexual.
Maybe someday soon I'll post about crazy factor #2: I cannot abide the word "faith", and I have a strong disapproval of religious institutions of all kinds.
Monday, January 21, 2002
well, here I am, back at work. The entire day, pretty much wasted trying to get a simple page to layout correctly with CSS positioning. I don't know what the deal is, because I basically cut and paste from a page that looks the same in IE5.5 and mozilla, but mine doesn't. Frustrating as hell.
Not that it's work related.
I really want to start a business of some kind. Or maybe just do more stuff that's not work and video games. I'm not sure. But I really feel like I could find some other way to make a living. I know so many people who just juggle, or sell juggling stuff, or perform.
Bleh. I really just want to sit at home and never deal with people ever again.
Not that it's work related.
I really want to start a business of some kind. Or maybe just do more stuff that's not work and video games. I'm not sure. But I really feel like I could find some other way to make a living. I know so many people who just juggle, or sell juggling stuff, or perform.
Bleh. I really just want to sit at home and never deal with people ever again.
Friday, January 18, 2002
I'm going to Madfest juggling festival this weekend. So I won't be posting. I'll be completely unplugged. I made my first favicon today. It probably won't go live until later next week, but it's pretty exciting. I can't believe photoshop won't save in .ICO format though.
Back in the day, I made a few levels for Marathon, this great Mac game that was basically the Mac's Doom equivelent. (better than doom, IMHO). Of course, when quake came out, Marathon was dust in it's tracks, but Bungie went on to make some other kick ass shit--but all that's beside the point.
This is what I meant to link. Funny as hell, and themushroom.com is well worth checking out, even if the design sucks ass. (their "Apple releases iLamp" article is also quite humorous.)
This is what I meant to link. Funny as hell, and themushroom.com is well worth checking out, even if the design sucks ass. (their "Apple releases iLamp" article is also quite humorous.)
Nate and I had a smallish party. Nate is my roommate (a word which doesn't seem to apply, because we have a two-bedroom appartment). Now we have lots of leftover junkfood, because we both ingeniously bought quite enough for everyone who was going to be there.
Now, a story:
Once, there were two guys living in a small appartment. If the guys hadn't known each other since kindergarden, and already worked out all the differences they may have once had--including one fall the stealing of one's girlfriend and the subsequent three months of silence that followed--they would perhaps be at each other's throats with switchblades and flamethrowers. Fortunately, such is not the case, and these two guys get along great. Thus, there is no reason for this story. The End.
If Nate and I ever live appart from one another, we're going to have a hell of a time sorting out who owns which DVDs and/or Playstation games.
I dedicate this late-night post to Nate. He's my roommate. A great guy. He plays Comedy Sportz.
Now, the meaning of life.
Now, a story:
Once, there were two guys living in a small appartment. If the guys hadn't known each other since kindergarden, and already worked out all the differences they may have once had--including one fall the stealing of one's girlfriend and the subsequent three months of silence that followed--they would perhaps be at each other's throats with switchblades and flamethrowers. Fortunately, such is not the case, and these two guys get along great. Thus, there is no reason for this story. The End.
If Nate and I ever live appart from one another, we're going to have a hell of a time sorting out who owns which DVDs and/or Playstation games.
I dedicate this late-night post to Nate. He's my roommate. A great guy. He plays Comedy Sportz.
Now, the meaning of life.
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
OMG. I'm "working" from home today, and I just now felt compelled to try the salt licorice that Yami sent me from Denmark ... (It's been sitting on my desk while I was basically too sick to really taste it.) Let me repeat. OMG. I can't decide whether I like it or not, but I think it's akin to sourpatchkids, only without being sweet.
OK, there is a little sweet, but it's FAR more salty, and then underneath somewhere there's this hint of licorice flavor.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a HUGE fan of black licorice. I love good licorice. But this is just wrong.
Woah. Crazy.
OK, there is a little sweet, but it's FAR more salty, and then underneath somewhere there's this hint of licorice flavor.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a HUGE fan of black licorice. I love good licorice. But this is just wrong.
Woah. Crazy.
I find myself obsessively compelled to watch a friend of mine at work because she has a webcam. This isn't even someone I talk to regularly, or see on any kind of regular basis. In fact, usually our social interactions will be months at a time between chance encounters that go something like this: "Hey, good to see you!" "yeah, what've you been up to?" "not terribly much, and you?" "More of the same. Good to see you though" "Yeah, you too." Not even the sometimes obligatory "we should hang out sometime!" or "we really must do this more often".
But my watching her has sparked more than one day where we exchanged emails all day... maybe it helps that she's single and attractive, but it's a really odd thing to just watch her at various times throughout the day.
But my watching her has sparked more than one day where we exchanged emails all day... maybe it helps that she's single and attractive, but it's a really odd thing to just watch her at various times throughout the day.
morning is a shadow on a fly's back. I'm sick of mornings... can't we just be rid of them entirely? Maybe it's sleeping through them that I'm sick of. It seems like I never get enough sleep...
Today I woke up just before I should be at work. So I elected to work from home today. (Milk it while I can.)
I've discovered a new way to think about my job. It's all just free money from here on in. I don't really feel like they need me where I work, so anything they pay me is (for as long as they keep paying me) pretty much like winning the lotery. Every day I'm winning at least a hundred bucks! It's crazy money, handed down from above!
Well, I think it's time to get to the miniscule amount of actual work I have to do before I slack off for the rest of the day...
Today I woke up just before I should be at work. So I elected to work from home today. (Milk it while I can.)
I've discovered a new way to think about my job. It's all just free money from here on in. I don't really feel like they need me where I work, so anything they pay me is (for as long as they keep paying me) pretty much like winning the lotery. Every day I'm winning at least a hundred bucks! It's crazy money, handed down from above!
Well, I think it's time to get to the miniscule amount of actual work I have to do before I slack off for the rest of the day...
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Last night continued the trend of dreaming about living in a video game. I think I was running around beating up people as if Dynasty Warriors were real. I was a "stalwart hero", and remember just slaughtering hundreds upon hundreds of warriors.
It's a rather disturbing way to wake up, actually.
At the bus stop, I saw an old friend in his car, and he waved me in. I haven't seen him for at least six months, but we were close for awhile. I blame his grad-school, and the fact that he's got a new girlfriend--doubtless leaving him less time for old friends. He was driving home (blocks away) but drove me to work instead, while I told him about various happenings and events in my life. I felt rather distracted talking to him, and wasn't able to think very clearly or quickly (as is often the case in the morning). I was conscious of how little he would say about himself, and his own life. Is he happy? who knows.
Then, upon checking my email, I discovered I had an email from another good friend I haven't heard from in quite awhile. (not quite six months, but almost!) Peter is quite the world traveler, and is vacationing in Australia (his home turf). His home is in the netherlands. Last year we met in Las Vegas, (for quite the memorable trip), and it's always good to hear from him, even if it was just a short email...
Work is fairly boring today, and I've been surfing blogs again. I've added quite the list to my bookmarks.
It's a rather disturbing way to wake up, actually.
At the bus stop, I saw an old friend in his car, and he waved me in. I haven't seen him for at least six months, but we were close for awhile. I blame his grad-school, and the fact that he's got a new girlfriend--doubtless leaving him less time for old friends. He was driving home (blocks away) but drove me to work instead, while I told him about various happenings and events in my life. I felt rather distracted talking to him, and wasn't able to think very clearly or quickly (as is often the case in the morning). I was conscious of how little he would say about himself, and his own life. Is he happy? who knows.
Then, upon checking my email, I discovered I had an email from another good friend I haven't heard from in quite awhile. (not quite six months, but almost!) Peter is quite the world traveler, and is vacationing in Australia (his home turf). His home is in the netherlands. Last year we met in Las Vegas, (for quite the memorable trip), and it's always good to hear from him, even if it was just a short email...
Work is fairly boring today, and I've been surfing blogs again. I've added quite the list to my bookmarks.
Monday, January 14, 2002
well, the weekend swung by while nobody was looking. I watched a movie or two, and played more video games. I took an adventurous journey to pick up my sister on friday, and on saturday I went to uncle hugo's--a science fiction bookstore... one of the last independent sci-fi bookstores. Sunday was uneventful.
Now, even though I'm not exactly feeling 100%, I find myself without excuses, and I'll be returning to work again today to face the near-zero workload that will be waiting for me.
I'm midway through A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which is thoroughly great and wonderful. I knew this going into it, but I had forgotten or something when I mentioned it here, but it's by the guy who edits McSweeney's, which is also quite wonderful.
Now, even though I'm not exactly feeling 100%, I find myself without excuses, and I'll be returning to work again today to face the near-zero workload that will be waiting for me.
I'm midway through A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which is thoroughly great and wonderful. I knew this going into it, but I had forgotten or something when I mentioned it here, but it's by the guy who edits McSweeney's, which is also quite wonderful.
Friday, January 11, 2002
I've noticed a disturbing trend today. I'm taking sudafed (with pseudoephedrine) for my virus or whatever it is. The box says I can take it safely every four hours. Today, like clockwork, I start to feel like absolute shit about every 3 and a half hours. What gives? Did I get the batch they skimped on, or is my body just eating the shit up? Or are the viruses (plural of virus? viri?) just stronger than anticipated by ye-ol-pharmaceutical company?
any way you look at it I'm getting the short end of the stick.
any way you look at it I'm getting the short end of the stick.
Thursday, January 10, 2002
Big news today: I bought a humidifier. It glows in the dark!
The doctor said I have an "upper respiratory viral infection." and that he can do nothing for me. I'm suppose to drink lots of fluids.
I'm finding more faults with Mozilla. There are weird form posting problems. Simmilar problems to the ones IE has on OSX, actually (and this is Mozilla for Win98)
I can't think about anything for very long. I've been playing lots of Final Fantasy X and Dynasty Warrriors 3. Also, today I bought Tony Hawk 3, for only $25 at blockbuster (previously viewed). I was pretty excited about that. Well, as excited as I can be when it hurts to just exist.
OK, enough self-pitty.
The doctor said I have an "upper respiratory viral infection." and that he can do nothing for me. I'm suppose to drink lots of fluids.
I'm finding more faults with Mozilla. There are weird form posting problems. Simmilar problems to the ones IE has on OSX, actually (and this is Mozilla for Win98)
I can't think about anything for very long. I've been playing lots of Final Fantasy X and Dynasty Warrriors 3. Also, today I bought Tony Hawk 3, for only $25 at blockbuster (previously viewed). I was pretty excited about that. Well, as excited as I can be when it hurts to just exist.
OK, enough self-pitty.
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